Hais, I'm sorry again. Didn't mean to hurt you again. Please don't be angry. Smile like how you're before. Won't be meeting you again. But do take care of yourself, really. Don't because of me and affect your feelings. Somehow I really don't know what I can do. Hais. I'm really confused now. I miss you, I want to see you. But I don't know when this day will come. I still love you loads. And I still need you loads as well. I really don't know what will happen in ther next few weeks. Will things going change? Or will anything happen ma? Hais. Shouldn't think about them yet first bahr. I love you and really miss you loads. Hope to see you soon.

Still thinking what can I do or where can I go for the next few days. ): I miss you hug, you kisses so much. I love you. Tomorrow will be 2 months le. Hahas. But won't be meeting. It's okay bahr. Maybe I'll be going home soon. Mummy, didn't work today, plus tomorrow I no school. (: Argh! I just miss you loads larhs! Having slight fever in the morning, now is better, sore throat and same thing, HEADACHE! I'm so god damn sick larhs! But never mind larhs. Won't die so easily. (:


Signing off.
N.Boy (:
11:03am
31.08.09

Omg, I'm sick! Argh. Whatever bahr. Hais.

I guess won't be seeing her for the next few days or weeks. Hais. I really, miss her loads. Hais. But what can I do? Hais. Never mind bahr. Sians. Just hope she'll look after herself bahr. Somehow I still worry for her. But I know she'll take care of herself de. She's so silly. Hais. I really really miss her loads. Hais. I don't know what to post le. I only know, I really miss her loads. I hope we can meet up soon. But when will this day come? I really don't know. Somehow I don't know I'll be sick for how long. But whatever it is bahr.

I love you and I really miss you loads. ):

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
21:54pm
30.08.09

I miss you, I really do miss you. Did you miss me ma? haven't been seeing her since thursday. Don't know when then can meet her. So boring this few days. Hais. Really got nothing to do. Just hope she's fine without me by her side. Maybe she's happier bahr? Cause there's no one to control her and stuff. Hais. Somehow I still worry for her. But I know she'll be fine de. (:

I'm still having headache. Hais. Fcuking pain. But whatever bahr. It's normal de. (: I feel so lonely without her eh. What can I do when she's not around? Who can I meet eh? Hais. I just miss her so much. Don't know how's her thinking. This few days I'm also thinking what should I do.

Nu er, don't worry about daddy. (: I'll be fine de. I know what I should do and what I shouldn't do. (: Xiao mei, don't worry also, I'm fine de. Thanks for sms-ing with me. Somehow I really miss her. I don't like to be alone. Hais. But I know, this time I really hurt her alot. She need sometime to heal. But i'm glad that at least there's still people there for her, at least she won't feel so down, or lonely. (:

Somehow or another I don't know what I should do, alot of things keep running inside me. Sians. Must sort it out first! Omg larhs. Anyway, hope I can faster pass my bike licence. I really want a bike soon! Argh!

Guess I shall end here. She's still outside now. Hope she's fine. I miss you, and I love you loads. (: take care of yourself. (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
01:05am
30.08.09

Hmm, didn't msg-ed with you much today. I feel that we're like drifting apart. Somehow I don't know what I can do. But I really don't like this kind of feelings. Somehow my headache is still here again. OMG larhs. It's really so pain! Hais, but whatever larhs. Still got few days to go before I can see her again. But I don't know if we're meeting on our 2nd month anot. Hais. But never mind bahr. I don't want to think so much already. I really miss you so much. Hais.

I'm still afraid of letting you go. But if I don't have a choice. I guess I've to let go bahr? I wanted you by my side now. But it's like so impossible. Hais. If this time, we really end up letting go. I think I'll take a long break first bahr? Really don't intend to get into another r/s for the time being. (:

But if we're still walking on. I'll still love you as before. But I know the feeling isn't the same anymore. I feel so weak now. So giddy, omg! But it's time for me to sleep yet. (: Shall end here. And I miss you! I love you loads too. Really wish to keep you by my side now. Hais. And I need you loads now!

Signing off.
N.Boy ):
22:12pm
27.08.09

I'm really sorry. I made you disappointed again! This time I really hurt you too much. I know no matter what I say you'll believe le. Cause your trust for had gone. This few days, there's really too much things happening between us. I know you're stress, I'm also stress. I didn't mean to anything from you. But trust me, she's not the that i'll be meeting but maybe only talk to. But me and her talk only recently. I didn't mean to keep it from you. I didn't share my thoughts with her. I still don't know who I can really talk to.

But trust me, my love you is true. And I need you loads. I really don't want to lose you. Hais. I'll give you time to think and cool down. Maybe I should cool down and think also. Think of how to improve our relationship. There's too much I must change, my attitude, my emotion, my behaviour and the way I think about people. Hais. Somehow or another, I'm really sorry for huritng you again and again. But I won't let the past to happen again. (: I'll do whatever I can to maintain our relationship and save this relationship. Yeah, nothing last forever. But there's still a chance for it to last de. I'm sure.

All I want to know I love you loads. And I really need you loads. But somehow my love for you seems to hurt you over and over again. So from now till our 2nd month. I'll give time to think and cool down bahr? I hope the we'll still continue walking together. (: I love you and I miss you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
18:37pm
26.08.09

Labels: I don't wish to let you go ):

Somehow there's too much things inside le. And there's no place where I can say out! Hais. I'm really so fan. But I can't let her know. Can't add on to her stress and stuff. I'm sorry for whatever things I do that made you angry or sad. I must learn how to feel? Hahas. I know my problems in a relationship somehow? Hahas. I don't know how to control my emotion, atttitude, behaviour? Hahas. I tend to care too much. Thus causing me to over concern for her. I'm really sorry. I won't think so much again le. I won't be jealous so much again also. It's okay for you to talk with guys and meet them. It's your freedom. And thanks for letting me talk with girls and allow me to meet them also. (: For like what you, what's mine will be mine in the end. Ya? Hahas.

For they're friends of your and friends of mine, so meeting them isn't something wrong. And isn't something to be jealous or worry of. For I know you'll take care of yourself. (: Hahas. Somehow I'm learning how to not worry so much, and think so much. Hahas. I know you don't like to be control, don't like to be care for so much. So I shall not restrict u too much anymore. I'll still care for you, but I know the limit of caring. Hahas.

Guess I'll end here. At night then post again bahr? (: I love you.

Sigining off.
N.Boy (L
11:56am
26.08.09

Argh, been having headache for several days le. Still not okay yet. Come and go! WTH larhs. So pain larhs! Feel like banging the wall larhs! Today didn't get to meet her. Hais. So miss her eh. Tomorrow will be meeting her, but somehow it's awhile only. But at least can meet larhs. Hahas. So it's okay larhs. Tired tired.

Feel like going for a checkup on my head. Wonder what happen eh. Lol. Always have serious headahce. Omg larhs. WTH lahs. She's gone for her tuition. Hais. I'm here doing nothing eh. So bored! I miss her larhs. Omg. Hais. Hope she's fine bahr. (: Hahas. Shall stop here. (: Love you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
20:48pm
25.08.09

I finally pass my bike lesson 3 le, so happy larhs. Went school today. Omg! So tiring larhs. I miss her eh, she's on her way to a soccer match at clementi. But I can't pei her. So sad. Hope she's fine bahr? Hahas. So bored now. Omg. Still thinking what to do later. Hahas. Sians. Hope she'll reach home early and pei me chat. Hahas. Hope her kor kor team win again. (: Good luck. Sians tomorrow lesson at 8am. WTH! So early can! Argh! Whatever. Will post again later. (:

And I love You (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
18:40pm
24.08.09

Hmm, today didn't meet her. Cause she's having her training. Hmm, somehow I missed her loads. Next week, might not be meeting her so often. Hais. Cause of her camp thingy. Sians. But it's okay bahr? Cause must be used to it also ma. So no choice bahr. Won't force to meet her so much. Hais. Got so much things inside me, but how should I say? Who can tell? Hais. I really don't know. But whatever. What's mine will be mine, what's not mine, even if I try to make it mine, it'll still not be mine. ): Somehow I'm scare.

I love you, and I miss you loads. I hope we'll last (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
19:32pm
23.08.09

I'm sorry, I'm wrong le. It's my fault. Must smile okay? Quarreled with her in the afternoon. Hais. I'm really sorry. I didn't really think for her, I only think about myself. Somehow or another, I'm still not used to it yet. I really don't like this kind of life. One week, we only meet like twice? It's okay if we meet twice, but I really hope we'll make full use of the time only. At least when we can meet, let's put aside whatever things, and just keep each other accompanied. That's all I want only. Hais. But somehow that's not how she think bahr? But never mind larhs. It's really my fault. I should get use to this kind of life de.

Hmm, today quarreled a few times. Another thing we quarreled about is over guys. Maybe I really think too much, concern too much, over protective. I know they're only your friends. I know it's really normal for you to chat with them, sms with them. For they're you friends, but somehow I'm just over jealous bahr? I'm sorry, my love for you actually hurt you so much. I disappoint you once again. Hais.

I know me and HIM is two different person, thus we shouldn't compare for everything is so different. But somehow I'm just envy him, that's all. Sorry for all the attitude I showed you all this while. Hmm, but but, I'll change de. Really. There's alot of things I still need to do. Like need to understand you more, shouldn't over concern you, shouldn't think so much, shoud have faith in you.

I know you don't like to be force de, so I won't force you anymore. Maybe I shouldn't control you that much. I guess I should give you more freedom bahr? 11 more days to 2nd month (: But I guess all this while I brought you more hurt than love bahr? Dear, do tell me you problems. If you're sad, just tell me, don't need always treat me as your boyfriend. When you need someone to talk to, treat me as you friends, and tell me. Okay? I'm always for you de, but you didn't come talk to me whenever you're sad. Sometimes I realise that you're sad, but I didn't ask you only. Cause I know you will not say de.

Somehow, I'm just really very sorry about those hurt I cause for you. ): Baby love you loads. We really have a long long way to go. Whatever that's going to happen, or will happen. I'll never leave you de. (: I'll use my life and protect. For you're my dear, my life. (: I love you loads, I also miss you loads. (:

signing off.
N.Boy (:
23:42pm
21.08.09

Hmm, her mood suddenly change. Maybe because of a song, he ask her to find. And the song somehow is telling her how he feel bahr? Hahas. Whatever bahr? Won't think too much also. Just hope she'll not change her mind again bahr. Sians. She's really very soft-hearten. Hais. Really hope this time she's serious about it bahr? Somehow, I really think that they really love each other alot. Hais. But somehow maybe they aren't meant to be together bahr?

Just like me and HER, though we love each other so much in the past, many people though we'll last. And we though we could last too. But somehow it's just another dream only. Many people may think that it's her fault for leaving me. Cause she change heart. And many people blame her for that. I do blame her as well. But somehow, the fault is at me not her. I made her love for me faded, that's why the guy could touch her heart so easily. Hahas. From the day we break till now. I did really think about our past. For no point doing that. Think more will only feel hurt more. But whatever it is, she's happy with her life, and I'm happy with me life. Wahahas. That's good.

And my dear C.SuChing, can you please take care of yourself more! Don't always fall sick. And and, please don't be such a pig! Bleahs, but but. Just to let you know this. Baby love you loads larhs! Okay? Our road is still long eh. We still have alot alot more to understand, alot alot more to know each other de. Hahas. You're so silly. And and know something? I love your PIG FACE! Omg! Wahahas. Somehow I just love you loads larhs.

Wahahas. Shall end here le. Wahahas. Miss you loads larhs. I love you too! Hope tomorrow can meet you. And hope tomorrow I can pass my RTT.

signing off.
N.boy (:
22:19pm
20.08.09

Somehow, you're so silly larhs! What past had past. Last I do look back at the past also. But it's the past already. So no point looking at it. You're not the worst. Yeah, I do envy him. Cause you two did alot of things that we didn't. But I know the reason and I understand. Yeah, maybe he's really better. Just tell me how you feel alright? It's better to be hurt now, than to hurt me in the future. For the hurt will be more. Ya?

I'm sorry, I always force you pei me go meet my friends or lion dance, and whenever you don't want I'll give you attitude. I'm really sorry. I didn't think about how you feel. I'll not force you anymore le. Really. I'll understand you more de. Really. Have faith in baby okay?

Hmm, I know sometimes we quarrel, he's always there. I'm selfish also de. I don't want you to think about him again. But as what I've told you. You'll not be able to do that de. (: Cause he's the guy you once love so much. So no matter how had you try, you'll not be able to do that. But never mind bahr.

I'm not comparing with him, it's just that I really feel that he's better, and I just envy him. That's all. I understand and know he's only your friends. I won't think too much. Silly. I'm so happy. You called me Laogong infront of me. (: I love you loads.

We still have a long long way to go. And there's still alot of time for us to understand each other more de. Correct? Hehes. So whatever it is. Let's not think about the past anymore. Yarhs? We'll just have to move on, and look forward. We'll have a better life as time pass de. (: Okay?


Lastly, C.SuChing, Baby Love You loads (: and and, NO MORE SMOKING FOR YOU HORS ! Love you. Shall end here. Tomorrow got school ! Miss you loads larhs !

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
01:21am
20.08.09

Omg, I actually went for school again! Omg. Hahas. I just realise I got so much thing to catch up eh. Sians lahrs. But whatever larhs. Tomorrow will be meeting her le. So happy. Miss her so much eh. Sians. But somehow, I feel that she's not in good mood eh. Sians. Hahas. Tired eh. Tomorrow morning going for e-trial for theory. Don't really have much thing to post eh. Sian diaos.

Guess I shall end here bahr? Sians. (: I love you loads. I'm bored ! I miss you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
22:31pm
18.08.09

Omg, I fcuking fail my pract 3 again ! Again at the figure 8. Damn stupid sia! Will be doing RTT this coming friday, hope can pass. Then jiu must chiong pract liao! Hope can my licence before attachment start or before November!

Reached school around 1145am, meet up with friends to do ETP project. Sians los. Tomorrow need pass up liao. Hahas. Hopefully everything will be okay bahr? Hahas. Attended lesson from 1pm to 5pm! Fcuking tired. After school jiu came home. Slept awhile during both lessons. Hahas.

She finally go school liao! Hope she'll constantly go school from now on. If not she'll really die man! Hahas. She slept in the afternoon from 4plus till 6 or 7plus I think? She's so tired. Hahas. And somehow I miss her loads larhs. And I realise I'm really getting used to not meeting her often bahr? Should be good things bahr? Hahas.

Guess I shall end here le. Hahas. Nothing much to blog either. (: I ♥ You LaoPo (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
21:45pm
17.08.09

Hmm, it'd passed 12am, thus will post about yesterday? Hahas. Hmm, 16.08.09 went for chu shi at woodland de sintua. Sians los. Raining los. Chu 5 lion 1 dragon. Hahas. Quite fun and cold ! It's me and rui hao cai qing again. Hahas. Tried something new. Hahas. Almost failed la. But lucky didn't. Then ended around 8 plus 9 like that bahr? Then went back hequan los. On the way, it started to rain again. She's beside me. Hehes. I'm justing holding her hand larhs. But I realise she's getting colder colder. Hahas, thus I hugged her. Hahas. Hope she feel warmer bahr? (:

Hahas. Took quite a number of pictures with her. Hahas. Same larhs. She and her PIG faces! But but, I still love her larhs! She'll be mine one and only PIG! Somehow she said she's getting over him le? Hope so bahr? Hahas. (: slowly bahr? Ya? Don't force yourself. Sians. Need to wake up around 7pm, as I've my bike lesson. Hope this time can pass. Sians, then need to go school around 11am to meet my friends to do our project. Sians. And lesson is TILL 5PM larhs! Can die man! But but, I haven't found my stuff yet! Omg larhs!

Guess chu shi will stop for the time being bahr? Then maybe training will start soon bahr? Need prepare for next year competition le, both lion and dragon. But main focus now is dragon. Hahas. Sians. And and, this few days, I'm having headache eh, feel like banging my head onto the wall larhs. Omg! Like so irritating los!

And something, I love her loads (: 15 more days to our 2nd months (: So fast eh, hahas. Good good. Somehow, I think we're still okay bahr? Sometime we do quarrel abit. Hmm, sorry dear. Didn't mean to always quarrel with you over small matters. We'll last de, really (: Hahas. I just simply love you (: Hope my love will really touch your heart one days (: Hahas. I miss you.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
01:24am
17.08.09

Hmm, so sians. I guess I'm going to fall sick le bahr? No idea also. Lol. But whatever larhs. Hahas. Today didn't meet her. Cause I've school till very 4pm and she've tuition at night. Hahas. Thus didn't meet los. Will be meetingn her tomorrow. Hope she'll go school tomorrow. Hahas. Somehow I miss her larhs. Sians.

Hmm, I guess this time she's serious le bahr? Hope she'll not regret after making that decision. I hopes she'll be okay. Whatever it is, I'll be there for her. Silly her. He hurt her so much, yet she loved him so much. Hahas. I know his sweet talks can touch and melt girls heart. Hahas. But whatever it is, I hope this time it won't work on her anymore. For she's attached to me. Thus she's mine now! Hehes.

I don't know what I should say also. Somehow I'm like helping him to heal her heart. What is this sia? Lol. He really hurt her alot alot. And I hope my love for her can heal the wound of her heart. See her sad, I'm really sad too. Hmm, yesterday will we're lying on her bed, from the way she looked at me, I can feel that she's sad, really sad. Hais, she really shed too much tears for him already. I really don't want to see her sad face. Hais. Maybe I'm being selfish her, but I really do hope, she'll forget the past and let it go. At least she won't be hurt anymore.

Hais, I shall end here le. Nothing much to post. Don't sad le, I love you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
23:05pm
13.08.09

Today, I still failed my Pract 3. Fcuk los. Hope next monday will pass (: After the bike lesson, went to find her at amk hub. Hahas. Went her house after that. Hahas. Was damn tired so we both slept for awhile. Hahas. Keep disturbing each other. Hahas. Pei-ed her till 10pm then I jiu went home le. Can't bear to leave her house wors. Will be meeting her again on friday. (: hahas. Somehow I hope she's okay. Maybe I shall end here. Got nothing more to post (:

I Love You & I Miss You Loads.

Signin off.
N.Boy (:
23:35pm
12.08.09

Hmm, woke up at 615 just for chu shi. Lol. Chu shi at 730am and at 2pm. But same place. Tiring. Shall not say much about it. But quite fun bahr? Lol. Thus it also means I didn't go school today. Hahas.

Hmm, she'd decided to let go le. But can she really do it? I don't know either. Hahas. Just hope she'll not be hurthing herself for doing that. Somehow, I just feel that, he still has feeling for her, or maybe still love her. I don't know, and don't intend to know. This few days or for the past one or two weeks, I guess she must have been thinking of the past and thinking about whether she should or should not let go. Hahas. She really once love him alot alot. I thought he won't be in our conversation anymore. But somehow it'll not happen de. For he's still a friend of hers, and I can't do anything about it. For this one week plus, my name doesn't appear much in her post, it's mostly about him. But I can't do anything. As we didn't meet from last monday to thursday. We only get to meet on friday and sunday evening time. Thus we don't have much topic to talk about. Hais.

Somehow I'm still scare, really scare. I'm scare that he'll snatch her away from me. Hais. She asked me, if one day my friend saw a guy putting his hand on her shoulder, what will I do? Will I listen to her explanation? Hmm, I guess I'll be angry, but of cause I'll listen to her explanation. Then she ask again, if that guy is him? What will I do? Again, I stunned for quite sometime. I don't know what to do. But suddenly, my mood become very very down, or should I say sad? I told her, I'll not do anything bahr? But of cause will sad and hurt, and maybe cry? Hahas. I'm sure she'll stop other guys from doing that, but if it's him, maybe she'll not stop. For it's him, not other guys.

Somehow I'm really scare, and sad after hearing that question. But I didn't tell her. And I guess she'll feel it bahr. Sorry if what I've said hurt you. I call her yesterday night as she's bored. She say she still have things left at his house, I told her to get it from him one day. And after that, his name appear more and more. So I hung up the phone. Cause there's too much of him, I'll only feel sad whenever I hear his name. Sorry. Somehow or another, I really really envy him alot alot. They could spend so much time, so many nights together. But I can only spend a few days per weeks with her only. Maybe some week only once per week. I'm sorry, I know we should get use to not meeting so often, but it's really hard. But I'll still keep trying. (:

Last but not least, C.SuChing, I Love You & I Miss You Loads. We'll meet tomorrow, can't boom again. Okay? (: Muacks. 010709 will last forever. (: Don't ever leave me, and don't hit me anymore, it's really hurt you know? ):

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
22:33pm
11.08.09

Hmm, went chu shi today. Helped tong yi first then xuan fong. Sians. Both are dragon ! Sians los. Hahas? After that went to her at her hourse. Was suppose to go see fireworks but she's too lazy to go out, so didn't go. Maybe meet her tomorrow bahr? Not sure what time also. Hahas.

Yesterday also chu shi, helped shao hong. Same dragon again. Lol. This tuesday going chu shi again, and again, 8 lion and 1 dragon. And we'll be wearing our new clothes. (: This coming sunday going chu again, 5 lion 1 dragon. Sians. Hahas.

Reached her house around 6pm, then left at 1030pm. Though the time we spend was very little, but we both treasure it well. (: Hahas. I love you. (: Just now I really don't bear to leave eh. Hais. But no choice.

Sorry about what you feel yesterday or for past one week. I still love you. It's always like this whenever we didn't meet much. I know and I guess, we really must be use to this kind of life. If not when I go army we'll really have problem. Shall end here. Very tired. And I love you loads (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
23:25pm
09/08/09

Somehow, he's still always in our conversation. Maybe he's really the best guy for her bahr? Her friend told her, he's better than me, better in every where. I agree too. Why must the guy who once hurt my girl, be the guy my girl will think of and can't forget, and be the guy that their friends think is the right guy for them? Or I'm just really the worst? Why must those guy be always in their heart, when they once hurt them so much? I know they're the first guy that let them know and feel what's love. Hais, I really don't know.

I miss her, I really do miss her. I love her and I really do love her. But will this love let her forget him? I don't know, I really don't know. There's still a very long way ahead waiting for us. And in this long way, he'll still be inside. I really hope he'll not be there. But it's impossible. Hais. Love is selfish. I want to be selfish too. But I know I'll only hurt her. Hais. I'm sorry.

It's okay for him to be in our conversation, in your mind or heart. Cause I know your love for me is true, and will not change. The past of him a memory, somehow, a beautiful memory. Hahas. At least I know, he'll be there for you still. Though you two may have broke up for few months but you two are much more closer, but just a friend or maybe a close friend. I won't say anything for that (:

Sorry, I know sometime, my request is too much. Hmm, sometime I really want to spend more time with you. I also, whenever we can't meet there's always a reason behind it. Don't worry, I'm fine de. I know I should be use it de. Somehow or another, I'm getting use to it slowly le. Sorry, we almost quarrel again. Somehow, I really miss you loads.

Lastly, I love you. No what happen, I'll always hold your hand tight. I won't let go untill u let go (: I miss you, and I love you. (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
15:52pm
06.08.09

ARGH, my head is so damn pain larhs. Don't know why today my head so pain larhs. Change phone le. Quite nice I can say. (: Hahas. Sians, had the test today, guess I'll fail bahr? But whatever larhs. (: Saw her at bedok today, don't know why she came here los, then awhile jiu leave le. Funny larh, she went to IMM with friends. Sorry sorry, for hanging your call today. Don't angry okay?

Somehow, I'm still missing you eh. Heard that you're going to work soon? Sians. Means we'll be meeting lesser le bahr? Sians. But it's okay larhs. Hahas. We'll meet whenever we're free okay? Hahas. (: Silly you. Hmm, somehow you're still thinking of him. Hais. Can't blame you. I just hope someday, you'll forget him. Have faith, you should be able to do it de. (: Hahas. Don't force yourself. Will be meeting you on friday. Finally can see you le. Hahas. I miss you so much larhs. Sians.

Shall end here le. (: I love you and I miss you (:

Signing off,
N.Boy (:
23:35pm
05.08.09

Hmm, this few days, he's inside our conversation. Hahas. Somehow or another, he'll never be forgotten. I also don't know what I can say. But I have faith in her. I know she'll not leave me. Alot of things are running around in my mind I guess it's the same for you also. I won't think too much. Just let nature take it's course bahr? What's mine will be mine, what's not mine, I force also won't be mine.I won't want to let her go. Hahas. Chatted with her alot of things.

And indeed, she'll and she can never forget him. I don't want to force her to forget him. Cause she'll be hurt more de. Hais, I don't know what I can still post eh. Didn't get to meet her today, thus can only meet her on friday. Just hope that day really can meet her, hope there's nothing to stop us from meeting. Hahas.

Tomorrow having exam, I guess I'll really flunk it. Sians. Hais. Whatever la. Hahas. I want see you eh. I still got 2 more days before we can meet eh. Shall end here bahr? Somehow, I realise I need you alot alot. Hais, somehow or another. I'm sad. But I don't know how to say out. Hais. I love you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy ):
22:18pm
04.08.09

OMG larhs. I miss C.SuChing ! Argh ! Didn't get to meet her today, maybe only friday then can see her. Hais. So sad larhs. Don't know why I'll miss her so much, maybe really get use to meeting her often le. Somehow I can't always meet her de. Hais. But I don't know how to do that eh. Cause I seriously will miss her eh. Sians. But due to school timetable and lion dance and sintua. We won't be able to meet so often. Hais. Will try my best to do get use to meet her less de. But really must try eh. Sians. Sorry sorry, I know I shouldn't keep asking you to meet me, but I really want see you that's all.

It's 3 days since 1st month. The past one month alot alot of things happened. There's good things, bad things. Happy moments, sad moments. Small quarrels, big quarrels. And she almost left me. But everything is fine now. We face alot alot of things together. But somehow I'm not the one who's there for her, it's someone else. I'm sorry. I know you hope that the one who's there for you is me, but sadly, it's not. I know I disappoint you. So sorry.

But at least I know there's someone for you when you're need someone. I told you just now, I'm really envy him, just like how I envy someone else. Cause he hurt you badly, but somehow or another, you never blame him, but you loved him so much. I know till now, you still can't forget him, can't forget the past. But I never blame. That day I saw your phone, saw a folder name sweet memories. Somehow I'm sad, but I don't blame you. For it's really sweet memories. Yes, maybe you two quarrel alot and hurt each other alot. But somehow, he's the first guy how let you feel love, and it's the first guy you ever love so much, also the first guy that ever understand you.

Somehow like I say, I fail to do all that, that's why most of my relationship failed. I once hurt someone alot alot. That's her, I know I let her disappointed too, I let her down. I didn't let her feel the love she wanted. At times, my heart did sway to other girls. But I don't know why it happen. Maybe she's right, I'm not true to her at all. She hate me now. But I won't blame her. It's my fault afterall. But from that relationship, I did learn alot alot of things.

But I won't let the same things that happen to the past relationship, happen to us. It's a lesson, an important lesson. Hahas. I must thanks her, she taught me alot of things. Hahas. Important things I guess? Hahas. C.SuChing, listen carefully. Baby will never let you go till the day you wanted me to leave. I know I always think this think that. I maybe irritating at times, maybe very naggy. But my love for you is true. I really don't wish to hurt you, or make you sad. I want to be the one who'll be there for you. I'll try my very best in doing that. I'll love you with my heart. Somehow, this after this one month, I realise I need you alot alot le. I'm really happy that I've you with me. (: Thanks for giving me the chance to love you. I know I won't be like him, as I'm not him. But my love for you, will never be lesser than he's (:

You're so silly larhs. Always make me worry so much. Bleahs. Make me worry somehow, later your whole body got many many 'ANTS' eh. Hahas. (: But I stil love you larhs. Hahas. I want you by my side always! Will you want to be mine forever? In the afternoon, you replied me something, I saw le, I stunned awhile. Sians. Don't know what to reply. And tears just drop. Hahas. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself okay? Hahas. I don't know what to post le. Sians. Shall end here I guess. (: I love you larhs (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
23:50pm
03.08.09

Hmm, just came back from bike practical, failed again. Fcuk larhs. So sians larhs. Going back on friday again. She went back sleep again. Lol. She's really tired larhs. OMG larhs. I just miss her. Hahas. Hmm, Didn't manage to celebrate our first month, as we're both lazy to go, but at least we got meet each other la. Hahas. Hmm, sorry sorry if i make you sad or angry. Ya? But but I love you loads (: Hahas.
Chu shi the next day at 630am larhs. Damn fcuking early. Slept for 1 hour 45 mins only. Hahas. Thus was damn tired yesterday. Hahas. Same for her also.

Pei her till 3am before the chu shi. Glad that I can spend the time with her. (: But after chu shi she went home, and I went to find mummy, as my papa was in hospital, when mummy know it, she immdiately requested for knock off. Then headed to hospital. Papa was fine. But must stay at hospital for few days larhs. Headed home with my brother. And went home sleep. Hahas. But fcuking hell, I only manage to sleep for another two hours larhs. Sian diao la. Then eat le, actually intend to go aunty house straight, she say she going to see yew keng, thus I met her at tpy. Damn happy as can see her again. Hahas. But went to the place, it'd ended le. Sians diao los. Thus sent her home la. Hahas.

Hmm, She's still sleeping eh, don't know if later got meet not. Sians. Hahas. Hope can meet la. Hmm, shall end here. (: IloveC.SuChing loads loads (: Maybe will blog again later. (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
11:27am
03.08.09

Hmm, it's finally 1 month le. Hmm, alot alot of things happen during this one month. But we manage to solve those problem and overcome it together (: I love you loads. we had alot of small quarrel, and a few big quarrel. Yeah, somehow I still don't really understand each other more, but our road is still long, so I'll continue to understand you more. (: Our love really don't come easy. I too, hope that 010709 will last forever. (: We'll last de. Hahas. Have faith (: Will be seeing you soon. I miss you loads larhs. Shall end here le. Need prepare to go out le.

S.SuChing ! You're always loved by T.WeeLiat

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
10:25am
010809

Hais, I'm sorry again. Didn't mean to hurt you again. Please don't be angry. Smile like how you're before. Won't be meeting you again. But do take care of yourself, really. Don't because of me and affect your feelings. Somehow I really don't know what I can do. Hais. I'm really confused now. I miss you, I want to see you. But I don't know when this day will come. I still love you loads. And I still need you loads as well. I really don't know what will happen in ther next few weeks. Will things going change? Or will anything happen ma? Hais. Shouldn't think about them yet first bahr. I love you and really miss you loads. Hope to see you soon.

Still thinking what can I do or where can I go for the next few days. ): I miss you hug, you kisses so much. I love you. Tomorrow will be 2 months le. Hahas. But won't be meeting. It's okay bahr. Maybe I'll be going home soon. Mummy, didn't work today, plus tomorrow I no school. (: Argh! I just miss you loads larhs! Having slight fever in the morning, now is better, sore throat and same thing, HEADACHE! I'm so god damn sick larhs! But never mind larhs. Won't die so easily. (:


Signing off.
N.Boy (:
11:03am
31.08.09

Omg, I'm sick! Argh. Whatever bahr. Hais.

I guess won't be seeing her for the next few days or weeks. Hais. I really, miss her loads. Hais. But what can I do? Hais. Never mind bahr. Sians. Just hope she'll look after herself bahr. Somehow I still worry for her. But I know she'll take care of herself de. She's so silly. Hais. I really really miss her loads. Hais. I don't know what to post le. I only know, I really miss her loads. I hope we can meet up soon. But when will this day come? I really don't know. Somehow I don't know I'll be sick for how long. But whatever it is bahr.

I love you and I really miss you loads. ):

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
21:54pm
30.08.09

I miss you, I really do miss you. Did you miss me ma? haven't been seeing her since thursday. Don't know when then can meet her. So boring this few days. Hais. Really got nothing to do. Just hope she's fine without me by her side. Maybe she's happier bahr? Cause there's no one to control her and stuff. Hais. Somehow I still worry for her. But I know she'll be fine de. (:

I'm still having headache. Hais. Fcuking pain. But whatever bahr. It's normal de. (: I feel so lonely without her eh. What can I do when she's not around? Who can I meet eh? Hais. I just miss her so much. Don't know how's her thinking. This few days I'm also thinking what should I do.

Nu er, don't worry about daddy. (: I'll be fine de. I know what I should do and what I shouldn't do. (: Xiao mei, don't worry also, I'm fine de. Thanks for sms-ing with me. Somehow I really miss her. I don't like to be alone. Hais. But I know, this time I really hurt her alot. She need sometime to heal. But i'm glad that at least there's still people there for her, at least she won't feel so down, or lonely. (:

Somehow or another I don't know what I should do, alot of things keep running inside me. Sians. Must sort it out first! Omg larhs. Anyway, hope I can faster pass my bike licence. I really want a bike soon! Argh!

Guess I shall end here. She's still outside now. Hope she's fine. I miss you, and I love you loads. (: take care of yourself. (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
01:05am
30.08.09

Hmm, didn't msg-ed with you much today. I feel that we're like drifting apart. Somehow I don't know what I can do. But I really don't like this kind of feelings. Somehow my headache is still here again. OMG larhs. It's really so pain! Hais, but whatever larhs. Still got few days to go before I can see her again. But I don't know if we're meeting on our 2nd month anot. Hais. But never mind bahr. I don't want to think so much already. I really miss you so much. Hais.

I'm still afraid of letting you go. But if I don't have a choice. I guess I've to let go bahr? I wanted you by my side now. But it's like so impossible. Hais. If this time, we really end up letting go. I think I'll take a long break first bahr? Really don't intend to get into another r/s for the time being. (:

But if we're still walking on. I'll still love you as before. But I know the feeling isn't the same anymore. I feel so weak now. So giddy, omg! But it's time for me to sleep yet. (: Shall end here. And I miss you! I love you loads too. Really wish to keep you by my side now. Hais. And I need you loads now!

Signing off.
N.Boy ):
22:12pm
27.08.09

I'm really sorry. I made you disappointed again! This time I really hurt you too much. I know no matter what I say you'll believe le. Cause your trust for had gone. This few days, there's really too much things happening between us. I know you're stress, I'm also stress. I didn't mean to anything from you. But trust me, she's not the that i'll be meeting but maybe only talk to. But me and her talk only recently. I didn't mean to keep it from you. I didn't share my thoughts with her. I still don't know who I can really talk to.

But trust me, my love you is true. And I need you loads. I really don't want to lose you. Hais. I'll give you time to think and cool down. Maybe I should cool down and think also. Think of how to improve our relationship. There's too much I must change, my attitude, my emotion, my behaviour and the way I think about people. Hais. Somehow or another, I'm really sorry for huritng you again and again. But I won't let the past to happen again. (: I'll do whatever I can to maintain our relationship and save this relationship. Yeah, nothing last forever. But there's still a chance for it to last de. I'm sure.

All I want to know I love you loads. And I really need you loads. But somehow my love for you seems to hurt you over and over again. So from now till our 2nd month. I'll give time to think and cool down bahr? I hope the we'll still continue walking together. (: I love you and I miss you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
18:37pm
26.08.09

Labels: I don't wish to let you go ):

Somehow there's too much things inside le. And there's no place where I can say out! Hais. I'm really so fan. But I can't let her know. Can't add on to her stress and stuff. I'm sorry for whatever things I do that made you angry or sad. I must learn how to feel? Hahas. I know my problems in a relationship somehow? Hahas. I don't know how to control my emotion, atttitude, behaviour? Hahas. I tend to care too much. Thus causing me to over concern for her. I'm really sorry. I won't think so much again le. I won't be jealous so much again also. It's okay for you to talk with guys and meet them. It's your freedom. And thanks for letting me talk with girls and allow me to meet them also. (: For like what you, what's mine will be mine in the end. Ya? Hahas.

For they're friends of your and friends of mine, so meeting them isn't something wrong. And isn't something to be jealous or worry of. For I know you'll take care of yourself. (: Hahas. Somehow I'm learning how to not worry so much, and think so much. Hahas. I know you don't like to be control, don't like to be care for so much. So I shall not restrict u too much anymore. I'll still care for you, but I know the limit of caring. Hahas.

Guess I'll end here. At night then post again bahr? (: I love you.

Sigining off.
N.Boy (L
11:56am
26.08.09

Argh, been having headache for several days le. Still not okay yet. Come and go! WTH larhs. So pain larhs! Feel like banging the wall larhs! Today didn't get to meet her. Hais. So miss her eh. Tomorrow will be meeting her, but somehow it's awhile only. But at least can meet larhs. Hahas. So it's okay larhs. Tired tired.

Feel like going for a checkup on my head. Wonder what happen eh. Lol. Always have serious headahce. Omg larhs. WTH lahs. She's gone for her tuition. Hais. I'm here doing nothing eh. So bored! I miss her larhs. Omg. Hais. Hope she's fine bahr. (: Hahas. Shall stop here. (: Love you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
20:48pm
25.08.09

I finally pass my bike lesson 3 le, so happy larhs. Went school today. Omg! So tiring larhs. I miss her eh, she's on her way to a soccer match at clementi. But I can't pei her. So sad. Hope she's fine bahr? Hahas. So bored now. Omg. Still thinking what to do later. Hahas. Sians. Hope she'll reach home early and pei me chat. Hahas. Hope her kor kor team win again. (: Good luck. Sians tomorrow lesson at 8am. WTH! So early can! Argh! Whatever. Will post again later. (:

And I love You (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
18:40pm
24.08.09

Hmm, today didn't meet her. Cause she's having her training. Hmm, somehow I missed her loads. Next week, might not be meeting her so often. Hais. Cause of her camp thingy. Sians. But it's okay bahr? Cause must be used to it also ma. So no choice bahr. Won't force to meet her so much. Hais. Got so much things inside me, but how should I say? Who can tell? Hais. I really don't know. But whatever. What's mine will be mine, what's not mine, even if I try to make it mine, it'll still not be mine. ): Somehow I'm scare.

I love you, and I miss you loads. I hope we'll last (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
19:32pm
23.08.09

I'm sorry, I'm wrong le. It's my fault. Must smile okay? Quarreled with her in the afternoon. Hais. I'm really sorry. I didn't really think for her, I only think about myself. Somehow or another, I'm still not used to it yet. I really don't like this kind of life. One week, we only meet like twice? It's okay if we meet twice, but I really hope we'll make full use of the time only. At least when we can meet, let's put aside whatever things, and just keep each other accompanied. That's all I want only. Hais. But somehow that's not how she think bahr? But never mind larhs. It's really my fault. I should get use to this kind of life de.

Hmm, today quarreled a few times. Another thing we quarreled about is over guys. Maybe I really think too much, concern too much, over protective. I know they're only your friends. I know it's really normal for you to chat with them, sms with them. For they're you friends, but somehow I'm just over jealous bahr? I'm sorry, my love for you actually hurt you so much. I disappoint you once again. Hais.

I know me and HIM is two different person, thus we shouldn't compare for everything is so different. But somehow I'm just envy him, that's all. Sorry for all the attitude I showed you all this while. Hmm, but but, I'll change de. Really. There's alot of things I still need to do. Like need to understand you more, shouldn't over concern you, shouldn't think so much, shoud have faith in you.

I know you don't like to be force de, so I won't force you anymore. Maybe I shouldn't control you that much. I guess I should give you more freedom bahr? 11 more days to 2nd month (: But I guess all this while I brought you more hurt than love bahr? Dear, do tell me you problems. If you're sad, just tell me, don't need always treat me as your boyfriend. When you need someone to talk to, treat me as you friends, and tell me. Okay? I'm always for you de, but you didn't come talk to me whenever you're sad. Sometimes I realise that you're sad, but I didn't ask you only. Cause I know you will not say de.

Somehow, I'm just really very sorry about those hurt I cause for you. ): Baby love you loads. We really have a long long way to go. Whatever that's going to happen, or will happen. I'll never leave you de. (: I'll use my life and protect. For you're my dear, my life. (: I love you loads, I also miss you loads. (:

signing off.
N.Boy (:
23:42pm
21.08.09

Hmm, her mood suddenly change. Maybe because of a song, he ask her to find. And the song somehow is telling her how he feel bahr? Hahas. Whatever bahr? Won't think too much also. Just hope she'll not change her mind again bahr. Sians. She's really very soft-hearten. Hais. Really hope this time she's serious about it bahr? Somehow, I really think that they really love each other alot. Hais. But somehow maybe they aren't meant to be together bahr?

Just like me and HER, though we love each other so much in the past, many people though we'll last. And we though we could last too. But somehow it's just another dream only. Many people may think that it's her fault for leaving me. Cause she change heart. And many people blame her for that. I do blame her as well. But somehow, the fault is at me not her. I made her love for me faded, that's why the guy could touch her heart so easily. Hahas. From the day we break till now. I did really think about our past. For no point doing that. Think more will only feel hurt more. But whatever it is, she's happy with her life, and I'm happy with me life. Wahahas. That's good.

And my dear C.SuChing, can you please take care of yourself more! Don't always fall sick. And and, please don't be such a pig! Bleahs, but but. Just to let you know this. Baby love you loads larhs! Okay? Our road is still long eh. We still have alot alot more to understand, alot alot more to know each other de. Hahas. You're so silly. And and know something? I love your PIG FACE! Omg! Wahahas. Somehow I just love you loads larhs.

Wahahas. Shall end here le. Wahahas. Miss you loads larhs. I love you too! Hope tomorrow can meet you. And hope tomorrow I can pass my RTT.

signing off.
N.boy (:
22:19pm
20.08.09

Somehow, you're so silly larhs! What past had past. Last I do look back at the past also. But it's the past already. So no point looking at it. You're not the worst. Yeah, I do envy him. Cause you two did alot of things that we didn't. But I know the reason and I understand. Yeah, maybe he's really better. Just tell me how you feel alright? It's better to be hurt now, than to hurt me in the future. For the hurt will be more. Ya?

I'm sorry, I always force you pei me go meet my friends or lion dance, and whenever you don't want I'll give you attitude. I'm really sorry. I didn't think about how you feel. I'll not force you anymore le. Really. I'll understand you more de. Really. Have faith in baby okay?

Hmm, I know sometimes we quarrel, he's always there. I'm selfish also de. I don't want you to think about him again. But as what I've told you. You'll not be able to do that de. (: Cause he's the guy you once love so much. So no matter how had you try, you'll not be able to do that. But never mind bahr.

I'm not comparing with him, it's just that I really feel that he's better, and I just envy him. That's all. I understand and know he's only your friends. I won't think too much. Silly. I'm so happy. You called me Laogong infront of me. (: I love you loads.

We still have a long long way to go. And there's still alot of time for us to understand each other more de. Correct? Hehes. So whatever it is. Let's not think about the past anymore. Yarhs? We'll just have to move on, and look forward. We'll have a better life as time pass de. (: Okay?


Lastly, C.SuChing, Baby Love You loads (: and and, NO MORE SMOKING FOR YOU HORS ! Love you. Shall end here. Tomorrow got school ! Miss you loads larhs !

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
01:21am
20.08.09

Omg, I actually went for school again! Omg. Hahas. I just realise I got so much thing to catch up eh. Sians lahrs. But whatever larhs. Tomorrow will be meeting her le. So happy. Miss her so much eh. Sians. But somehow, I feel that she's not in good mood eh. Sians. Hahas. Tired eh. Tomorrow morning going for e-trial for theory. Don't really have much thing to post eh. Sian diaos.

Guess I shall end here bahr? Sians. (: I love you loads. I'm bored ! I miss you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
22:31pm
18.08.09

Omg, I fcuking fail my pract 3 again ! Again at the figure 8. Damn stupid sia! Will be doing RTT this coming friday, hope can pass. Then jiu must chiong pract liao! Hope can my licence before attachment start or before November!

Reached school around 1145am, meet up with friends to do ETP project. Sians los. Tomorrow need pass up liao. Hahas. Hopefully everything will be okay bahr? Hahas. Attended lesson from 1pm to 5pm! Fcuking tired. After school jiu came home. Slept awhile during both lessons. Hahas.

She finally go school liao! Hope she'll constantly go school from now on. If not she'll really die man! Hahas. She slept in the afternoon from 4plus till 6 or 7plus I think? She's so tired. Hahas. And somehow I miss her loads larhs. And I realise I'm really getting used to not meeting her often bahr? Should be good things bahr? Hahas.

Guess I shall end here le. Hahas. Nothing much to blog either. (: I ♥ You LaoPo (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
21:45pm
17.08.09

Hmm, it'd passed 12am, thus will post about yesterday? Hahas. Hmm, 16.08.09 went for chu shi at woodland de sintua. Sians los. Raining los. Chu 5 lion 1 dragon. Hahas. Quite fun and cold ! It's me and rui hao cai qing again. Hahas. Tried something new. Hahas. Almost failed la. But lucky didn't. Then ended around 8 plus 9 like that bahr? Then went back hequan los. On the way, it started to rain again. She's beside me. Hehes. I'm justing holding her hand larhs. But I realise she's getting colder colder. Hahas, thus I hugged her. Hahas. Hope she feel warmer bahr? (:

Hahas. Took quite a number of pictures with her. Hahas. Same larhs. She and her PIG faces! But but, I still love her larhs! She'll be mine one and only PIG! Somehow she said she's getting over him le? Hope so bahr? Hahas. (: slowly bahr? Ya? Don't force yourself. Sians. Need to wake up around 7pm, as I've my bike lesson. Hope this time can pass. Sians, then need to go school around 11am to meet my friends to do our project. Sians. And lesson is TILL 5PM larhs! Can die man! But but, I haven't found my stuff yet! Omg larhs!

Guess chu shi will stop for the time being bahr? Then maybe training will start soon bahr? Need prepare for next year competition le, both lion and dragon. But main focus now is dragon. Hahas. Sians. And and, this few days, I'm having headache eh, feel like banging my head onto the wall larhs. Omg! Like so irritating los!

And something, I love her loads (: 15 more days to our 2nd months (: So fast eh, hahas. Good good. Somehow, I think we're still okay bahr? Sometime we do quarrel abit. Hmm, sorry dear. Didn't mean to always quarrel with you over small matters. We'll last de, really (: Hahas. I just simply love you (: Hope my love will really touch your heart one days (: Hahas. I miss you.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
01:24am
17.08.09

Hmm, so sians. I guess I'm going to fall sick le bahr? No idea also. Lol. But whatever larhs. Hahas. Today didn't meet her. Cause I've school till very 4pm and she've tuition at night. Hahas. Thus didn't meet los. Will be meetingn her tomorrow. Hope she'll go school tomorrow. Hahas. Somehow I miss her larhs. Sians.

Hmm, I guess this time she's serious le bahr? Hope she'll not regret after making that decision. I hopes she'll be okay. Whatever it is, I'll be there for her. Silly her. He hurt her so much, yet she loved him so much. Hahas. I know his sweet talks can touch and melt girls heart. Hahas. But whatever it is, I hope this time it won't work on her anymore. For she's attached to me. Thus she's mine now! Hehes.

I don't know what I should say also. Somehow I'm like helping him to heal her heart. What is this sia? Lol. He really hurt her alot alot. And I hope my love for her can heal the wound of her heart. See her sad, I'm really sad too. Hmm, yesterday will we're lying on her bed, from the way she looked at me, I can feel that she's sad, really sad. Hais, she really shed too much tears for him already. I really don't want to see her sad face. Hais. Maybe I'm being selfish her, but I really do hope, she'll forget the past and let it go. At least she won't be hurt anymore.

Hais, I shall end here le. Nothing much to post. Don't sad le, I love you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
23:05pm
13.08.09

Today, I still failed my Pract 3. Fcuk los. Hope next monday will pass (: After the bike lesson, went to find her at amk hub. Hahas. Went her house after that. Hahas. Was damn tired so we both slept for awhile. Hahas. Keep disturbing each other. Hahas. Pei-ed her till 10pm then I jiu went home le. Can't bear to leave her house wors. Will be meeting her again on friday. (: hahas. Somehow I hope she's okay. Maybe I shall end here. Got nothing more to post (:

I Love You & I Miss You Loads.

Signin off.
N.Boy (:
23:35pm
12.08.09

Hmm, woke up at 615 just for chu shi. Lol. Chu shi at 730am and at 2pm. But same place. Tiring. Shall not say much about it. But quite fun bahr? Lol. Thus it also means I didn't go school today. Hahas.

Hmm, she'd decided to let go le. But can she really do it? I don't know either. Hahas. Just hope she'll not be hurthing herself for doing that. Somehow, I just feel that, he still has feeling for her, or maybe still love her. I don't know, and don't intend to know. This few days or for the past one or two weeks, I guess she must have been thinking of the past and thinking about whether she should or should not let go. Hahas. She really once love him alot alot. I thought he won't be in our conversation anymore. But somehow it'll not happen de. For he's still a friend of hers, and I can't do anything about it. For this one week plus, my name doesn't appear much in her post, it's mostly about him. But I can't do anything. As we didn't meet from last monday to thursday. We only get to meet on friday and sunday evening time. Thus we don't have much topic to talk about. Hais.

Somehow I'm still scare, really scare. I'm scare that he'll snatch her away from me. Hais. She asked me, if one day my friend saw a guy putting his hand on her shoulder, what will I do? Will I listen to her explanation? Hmm, I guess I'll be angry, but of cause I'll listen to her explanation. Then she ask again, if that guy is him? What will I do? Again, I stunned for quite sometime. I don't know what to do. But suddenly, my mood become very very down, or should I say sad? I told her, I'll not do anything bahr? But of cause will sad and hurt, and maybe cry? Hahas. I'm sure she'll stop other guys from doing that, but if it's him, maybe she'll not stop. For it's him, not other guys.

Somehow I'm really scare, and sad after hearing that question. But I didn't tell her. And I guess she'll feel it bahr. Sorry if what I've said hurt you. I call her yesterday night as she's bored. She say she still have things left at his house, I told her to get it from him one day. And after that, his name appear more and more. So I hung up the phone. Cause there's too much of him, I'll only feel sad whenever I hear his name. Sorry. Somehow or another, I really really envy him alot alot. They could spend so much time, so many nights together. But I can only spend a few days per weeks with her only. Maybe some week only once per week. I'm sorry, I know we should get use to not meeting so often, but it's really hard. But I'll still keep trying. (:

Last but not least, C.SuChing, I Love You & I Miss You Loads. We'll meet tomorrow, can't boom again. Okay? (: Muacks. 010709 will last forever. (: Don't ever leave me, and don't hit me anymore, it's really hurt you know? ):

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
22:33pm
11.08.09

Hmm, went chu shi today. Helped tong yi first then xuan fong. Sians. Both are dragon ! Sians los. Hahas? After that went to her at her hourse. Was suppose to go see fireworks but she's too lazy to go out, so didn't go. Maybe meet her tomorrow bahr? Not sure what time also. Hahas.

Yesterday also chu shi, helped shao hong. Same dragon again. Lol. This tuesday going chu shi again, and again, 8 lion and 1 dragon. And we'll be wearing our new clothes. (: This coming sunday going chu again, 5 lion 1 dragon. Sians. Hahas.

Reached her house around 6pm, then left at 1030pm. Though the time we spend was very little, but we both treasure it well. (: Hahas. I love you. (: Just now I really don't bear to leave eh. Hais. But no choice.

Sorry about what you feel yesterday or for past one week. I still love you. It's always like this whenever we didn't meet much. I know and I guess, we really must be use to this kind of life. If not when I go army we'll really have problem. Shall end here. Very tired. And I love you loads (:

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
23:25pm
09/08/09

Somehow, he's still always in our conversation. Maybe he's really the best guy for her bahr? Her friend told her, he's better than me, better in every where. I agree too. Why must the guy who once hurt my girl, be the guy my girl will think of and can't forget, and be the guy that their friends think is the right guy for them? Or I'm just really the worst? Why must those guy be always in their heart, when they once hurt them so much? I know they're the first guy that let them know and feel what's love. Hais, I really don't know.

I miss her, I really do miss her. I love her and I really do love her. But will this love let her forget him? I don't know, I really don't know. There's still a very long way ahead waiting for us. And in this long way, he'll still be inside. I really hope he'll not be there. But it's impossible. Hais. Love is selfish. I want to be selfish too. But I know I'll only hurt her. Hais. I'm sorry.

It's okay for him to be in our conversation, in your mind or heart. Cause I know your love for me is true, and will not change. The past of him a memory, somehow, a beautiful memory. Hahas. At least I know, he'll be there for you still. Though you two may have broke up for few months but you two are much more closer, but just a friend or maybe a close friend. I won't say anything for that (:

Sorry, I know sometime, my request is too much. Hmm, sometime I really want to spend more time with you. I also, whenever we can't meet there's always a reason behind it. Don't worry, I'm fine de. I know I should be use it de. Somehow or another, I'm getting use to it slowly le. Sorry, we almost quarrel again. Somehow, I really miss you loads.

Lastly, I love you. No what happen, I'll always hold your hand tight. I won't let go untill u let go (: I miss you, and I love you. (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
15:52pm
06.08.09

ARGH, my head is so damn pain larhs. Don't know why today my head so pain larhs. Change phone le. Quite nice I can say. (: Hahas. Sians, had the test today, guess I'll fail bahr? But whatever larhs. (: Saw her at bedok today, don't know why she came here los, then awhile jiu leave le. Funny larh, she went to IMM with friends. Sorry sorry, for hanging your call today. Don't angry okay?

Somehow, I'm still missing you eh. Heard that you're going to work soon? Sians. Means we'll be meeting lesser le bahr? Sians. But it's okay larhs. Hahas. We'll meet whenever we're free okay? Hahas. (: Silly you. Hmm, somehow you're still thinking of him. Hais. Can't blame you. I just hope someday, you'll forget him. Have faith, you should be able to do it de. (: Hahas. Don't force yourself. Will be meeting you on friday. Finally can see you le. Hahas. I miss you so much larhs. Sians.

Shall end here le. (: I love you and I miss you (:

Signing off,
N.Boy (:
23:35pm
05.08.09

Hmm, this few days, he's inside our conversation. Hahas. Somehow or another, he'll never be forgotten. I also don't know what I can say. But I have faith in her. I know she'll not leave me. Alot of things are running around in my mind I guess it's the same for you also. I won't think too much. Just let nature take it's course bahr? What's mine will be mine, what's not mine, I force also won't be mine.I won't want to let her go. Hahas. Chatted with her alot of things.

And indeed, she'll and she can never forget him. I don't want to force her to forget him. Cause she'll be hurt more de. Hais, I don't know what I can still post eh. Didn't get to meet her today, thus can only meet her on friday. Just hope that day really can meet her, hope there's nothing to stop us from meeting. Hahas.

Tomorrow having exam, I guess I'll really flunk it. Sians. Hais. Whatever la. Hahas. I want see you eh. I still got 2 more days before we can meet eh. Shall end here bahr? Somehow, I realise I need you alot alot. Hais, somehow or another. I'm sad. But I don't know how to say out. Hais. I love you loads.

Signing off.
N.Boy ):
22:18pm
04.08.09

OMG larhs. I miss C.SuChing ! Argh ! Didn't get to meet her today, maybe only friday then can see her. Hais. So sad larhs. Don't know why I'll miss her so much, maybe really get use to meeting her often le. Somehow I can't always meet her de. Hais. But I don't know how to do that eh. Cause I seriously will miss her eh. Sians. But due to school timetable and lion dance and sintua. We won't be able to meet so often. Hais. Will try my best to do get use to meet her less de. But really must try eh. Sians. Sorry sorry, I know I shouldn't keep asking you to meet me, but I really want see you that's all.

It's 3 days since 1st month. The past one month alot alot of things happened. There's good things, bad things. Happy moments, sad moments. Small quarrels, big quarrels. And she almost left me. But everything is fine now. We face alot alot of things together. But somehow I'm not the one who's there for her, it's someone else. I'm sorry. I know you hope that the one who's there for you is me, but sadly, it's not. I know I disappoint you. So sorry.

But at least I know there's someone for you when you're need someone. I told you just now, I'm really envy him, just like how I envy someone else. Cause he hurt you badly, but somehow or another, you never blame him, but you loved him so much. I know till now, you still can't forget him, can't forget the past. But I never blame. That day I saw your phone, saw a folder name sweet memories. Somehow I'm sad, but I don't blame you. For it's really sweet memories. Yes, maybe you two quarrel alot and hurt each other alot. But somehow, he's the first guy how let you feel love, and it's the first guy you ever love so much, also the first guy that ever understand you.

Somehow like I say, I fail to do all that, that's why most of my relationship failed. I once hurt someone alot alot. That's her, I know I let her disappointed too, I let her down. I didn't let her feel the love she wanted. At times, my heart did sway to other girls. But I don't know why it happen. Maybe she's right, I'm not true to her at all. She hate me now. But I won't blame her. It's my fault afterall. But from that relationship, I did learn alot alot of things.

But I won't let the same things that happen to the past relationship, happen to us. It's a lesson, an important lesson. Hahas. I must thanks her, she taught me alot of things. Hahas. Important things I guess? Hahas. C.SuChing, listen carefully. Baby will never let you go till the day you wanted me to leave. I know I always think this think that. I maybe irritating at times, maybe very naggy. But my love for you is true. I really don't wish to hurt you, or make you sad. I want to be the one who'll be there for you. I'll try my very best in doing that. I'll love you with my heart. Somehow, this after this one month, I realise I need you alot alot le. I'm really happy that I've you with me. (: Thanks for giving me the chance to love you. I know I won't be like him, as I'm not him. But my love for you, will never be lesser than he's (:

You're so silly larhs. Always make me worry so much. Bleahs. Make me worry somehow, later your whole body got many many 'ANTS' eh. Hahas. (: But I stil love you larhs. Hahas. I want you by my side always! Will you want to be mine forever? In the afternoon, you replied me something, I saw le, I stunned awhile. Sians. Don't know what to reply. And tears just drop. Hahas. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself okay? Hahas. I don't know what to post le. Sians. Shall end here I guess. (: I love you larhs (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
23:50pm
03.08.09

Hmm, just came back from bike practical, failed again. Fcuk larhs. So sians larhs. Going back on friday again. She went back sleep again. Lol. She's really tired larhs. OMG larhs. I just miss her. Hahas. Hmm, Didn't manage to celebrate our first month, as we're both lazy to go, but at least we got meet each other la. Hahas. Hmm, sorry sorry if i make you sad or angry. Ya? But but I love you loads (: Hahas.
Chu shi the next day at 630am larhs. Damn fcuking early. Slept for 1 hour 45 mins only. Hahas. Thus was damn tired yesterday. Hahas. Same for her also.

Pei her till 3am before the chu shi. Glad that I can spend the time with her. (: But after chu shi she went home, and I went to find mummy, as my papa was in hospital, when mummy know it, she immdiately requested for knock off. Then headed to hospital. Papa was fine. But must stay at hospital for few days larhs. Headed home with my brother. And went home sleep. Hahas. But fcuking hell, I only manage to sleep for another two hours larhs. Sian diao la. Then eat le, actually intend to go aunty house straight, she say she going to see yew keng, thus I met her at tpy. Damn happy as can see her again. Hahas. But went to the place, it'd ended le. Sians diao los. Thus sent her home la. Hahas.

Hmm, She's still sleeping eh, don't know if later got meet not. Sians. Hahas. Hope can meet la. Hmm, shall end here. (: IloveC.SuChing loads loads (: Maybe will blog again later. (:

Signing off.
N.boy (:
11:27am
03.08.09

Hmm, it's finally 1 month le. Hmm, alot alot of things happen during this one month. But we manage to solve those problem and overcome it together (: I love you loads. we had alot of small quarrel, and a few big quarrel. Yeah, somehow I still don't really understand each other more, but our road is still long, so I'll continue to understand you more. (: Our love really don't come easy. I too, hope that 010709 will last forever. (: We'll last de. Hahas. Have faith (: Will be seeing you soon. I miss you loads larhs. Shall end here le. Need prepare to go out le.

S.SuChing ! You're always loved by T.WeeLiat

Signing off.
N.Boy (:
10:25am
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