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So Worry About You.
Sunday, November 2, 2008

hmm. so sianx. yesterday no blog. hmm. worry about dear. haix. maybe as what she'd said. because many days didn't meet up le. so feel so werid i see her yesterday. haix. didn't mean it also. cause this few days have alone all the while, suddenly got someone beside me, the feeling just not right.

reason for this is : because i simply miss dear too much. i really want to accompany her or i should say, i need her accompany. haix. i really feel lonely. i want dear! i really hate this loneliness. i know dear hate this feeling either. dear hope you understand me for being so cold yesterday. i really didn't mean to be cold. sorry dear, sorry that i once again made you sad. i really don't know what to do.

sometime im thinking to myself. why other couple out there can meet often, even weekends and holiday, but we can't. why other couple can visit both side parents, but we can't. haix. so many why. i really scare i'll go mad! cause i really dear to accompany me. i really just feel alone at home. we can't even talk on phone neh. wtf rtye? haix. i really scare if one day i go mad, i'll go astray eh. i'm controlling myself now.

sometime, when i'm out alone. i often see couple together going shopping, going movie, kbox, play pool, go to beach, blah blah blah. i really feel so sad eh. why can't we go that? we're couple also eh. but why can't we do the same? i guess you feel the same way also right? i miss you, i seriously do. though can see that i'm happy or what. but deep inside me. i'm never happy. even during you school days. everytime i send to the bus stop to wait for bus and see you board the bus. it really break my heart. cause i won't know when the next we'll meet again. haix. sometime i really feel like crying out. but i can't.

sometime when i go find my friend, who's girl. you'll feel sad or think that i may fall for them. but let me tell. no i won't, maybe i may have some feelings for them. but it's cause i miss you too much. and i mistook as you. i find them the main purpose is ask them accompany. yes, you may ask. why don't you find friends who's guy? why must be girl?

reason simple. im closer to girls. and when if guy want to find someone to talk about things like r/s we normally won't find guys. it's just so weird to find guys talking about this. haix. there's many thing im keeping inside me. same as you. i don't know to talk to you about it. don't know why. haix. but trust baby. i love you and only you.

hmm. sorry dear, i know learning bike wasn't what you want. thanks for respecting my decision. i know it's dangerous. if anything happen, i may just die on the spot. but since i make this decision, thus i have mental preparation for the worst situation. really. im fine. i know you're sad about this. haix.

haix. don't know when then can we really be together. i really can't take it anymore. i'm going to collapse one day. going crazy one day! argh! i hate him! i want to curse him also, i want him dead also. but i really can't do anything. cause if i really did something to him. retribution won't fall on me. but on our next generation. they'll suffering for us. thus i don't want, and won't do anything to him! he'll taste the retribution one day. maybe it's long. but don't worry. once you're 18 and if we're getting marry. he can't do anithing either.

haix. imissyou. one year it's coming it's way le (:
signing off.
N.Boy ):
00:56am
02.11.08