Sorry Girl.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hais. Till now she's still sick, and haven't recover yet. One after another. Hais. And in the end, I still fail to be a boyfriend of her. Didn't do my part of taking care of her, but only let her become sicker and sicker. Sorry. Can't be by your side all the time. Can't be like other boyfriend. When you're sick, I can't be by your side, taking care of you. When you're having nightmare, I'm not there for you. When you're feeling cold, I'm not there to keep you warmth. When you're hungry, I'm not there to bring you food. When you need me the most, I'm also not there. All I do is only making you more worry, more sad, more hurt. Sorry. I'm still not a good boyfriend afterall. Tomorrow is 1 year 3 month le, but I still didn't do all of the above. You never fail to forgive my mistake. I really feel your love, you kindness, you cuteness, your clumsiness, your foolishness, your warmth. You've done alot alot of things for me, but I did none.

Sorry. I should be the worst boyfriend in this world bahr? I know you won't leave me no matter what happen. Many people told me bad things about you. Say you maybe having other boyfriend that's why always can't meet. I never once believe them. For I trust you. Maybe I've yet to gain you trust fully. But will continue to gain your trust. Many things happen since 25 Nov 07, the day we're together. Though it took us one day to know each other, one day to be together. But it'll take us one life time to love each other. Army life is just a year or so from now. During army life, alot alot of things will happen. Though I told you, we'll engaged when you're 18 years old. But frankly speaking, I don't to do that.

I know you won't change you love for me. But I want you to think carefully, marriage isn't something to joke around. I know you've made your decision le. But I want you to meet more poeple, and to give yourself more choices. Army life is 2 years. And I hope after 2 years of my army life, you'll make the right decision. Maybe in the end, the decision isn't me, it maybe somebody else. But I won't regret. Cause you've found the right guy. I'll be happy for you de. And if that's the case, I want to thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for letting to love you. Thank you for the everything you've done for me.

During army life, there isn't any chance for me to change heart. Cause for the whole of 2 years. I'll be meeting guys only. So it's very impossible for me change to heart. Hehes. But I hope you'll wait for me. I want to be with. Want to marry you. Remember I told you I want 5 kids from you? Hehes. If can't so many, 2 also can la. Hehes. But in the final decision will still lie on you. I'm sure there'll be people wooing you de. It's your choice whether to give them this chance anot. But no matter what your decision are., please let me know? Can? Maybe saying all this is too early. Or you may think I'm still young, and it's just a childish thoughts. But I'm soon to be a 19 years old guy le. So it's not a child thinking or talking now. I'm a young adult le. So I means what i say.

In my heart, I want our relationship to last long. I never want to leave you nor want you to leave me. But if you really want to leave, I won't stop. Not because I don't love you anymore, it's because I want you to be happy.Want you to find your true love and happiness. Lastly before I end today's post, I want to tell you. I love you. There'll be this day where I'll ask you to be my wife de. The ring which cost me $399 isn't given just for show. I'm willingly to give you such an expensive ring is because I want to let you know. You're very important to me. I love Kerryn Lim. (: Muacks.

Signing off.
N.Boy (:

23:30pm
24.02.09