It's where it begins .

Thursday, March 6, 2008

suddenly i feel that my distance with her is getting bigger and bigger. she have a job now. and her pay is very high. and she say she must slim down and make up for that job. haix. in order words. once she's getting more and more pretty. more and more people will be attracted by her. and also means the higher chance i'll be replace by another guy who's more handsome the me bahr? haix.

yesterday i dreamt that : she's with another guy. saw them holdin hand and all that. i went up to ask her who's that guy. and she say that he's her new boyfriend. and i asked what about me. she replied this " you? what are you? so poor and the job you're doing now doesn't even fit to be with me. scram okays? " it's a dream only. but it seems so real to me. haix. will this really happen on me? will she really leave me.

i know i'm not that good looking to be with her. the guys around her look much more better then me. my job nw doesn't let me earn much. she'll be earning like $500-$1000 per month now? yet i'm like earnin less then $400. i know it's too little. it isn't enough for her to spend.

haix. i really feel so tiny infront of her. there's so much thing i wanted to tell her. but it's like nvm. i don't want to lose her. she's everything now. i really don't know what her heart really think. she always keep things to herself. and doesn't let me know. haix. i seems to be knowing her lesser and lesser. once her job start. i'll be further and further from her. will she despise me?
will she like want to be further from me?

hmm. i'm not meeting her much when my school start. means the time i'll be with her is getting lesser and lesser. haix. i'm so so so confused. i don't know what will happen will i start school. i don't want anything to happen. gal will anything happen? haix.

i. . . don't know will anyone tr to break us up again. or to spam our blog for no reason.

hmm. but if she really despise me or not? i know she won't but somethings is really hard to say. i trust her. but i don't trust myself. i know i have more negative things then positive things. haix. i don't have a good things that's like by people. haix.

suan le. don't want to say anymore. tc all. will post again.

signin off...
naughtyboy
1.40pm
06/03/08

Thursday, March 6, 2008