ENTRIES ARCHIVES PROFILE AFFILIATES

All I Need Is You (:.
Monday, May 25, 2009

Hmm, had been training for the past few months le. Finally it's left with 4 more days to competition le. Hahas. Just dotted our competition a few hours ago. Hahas. Hard work had been put in, hope we'll achieve what we aimed for. So anxious about it. Good luck guys, we can do it as a TEAM.

Hmm, she had been sick for quite some time le, don't know what happen. She doesn't seems to have recover at all. Hais. So worry about her. Hmm, hope she's alright. Won't be seeing her till wednesday and friday. After that she'll be having her holidays, which means won't be meeting her during her entire holiday. Hais. It's always like that, so don't need to be surprise.

Many many things keep running through my mind. Although she didn't say anything but somehow I feel that she'd a difficult time of forgetting him and their past. She seems to be very strong, but deep inside her, she's very weak. I don't know what I can do to help her. I can't leave her, cause I don't know what silly thing she may do to herself. I don't want anythings to happen to her.

Hmm, if letting go is really very tough, then just forget about it. Don't force yourself, I don't wish to see you so sad and trouble about it. Sometime I really wonder, if did I come into her life in the right time? People don't seems to be happy to know or see that I'm together with her. Hais. Am I really giving her the happiness she wants? Is she really happy being together with me? Does she feel irritated by me or feel loved by me? I really don't know. Hais. Am I really filt to fill up the space that he once 'stayed' before or I can never enter that place? Or am I even allowed to step into that place?

Sorry if I really fail to enter that place. I really don't want to see you so stress and sad. It's really hurts to see that. It's 12:55 now, thus Happy 1 Year 6 Months Anniversary. Sorry can't pei you celebrate, cause got school. Hais. I always failed to celebrate our anniversary together. Sorry. Not because I don't want to, but it's always because I've something on, if not that day will be a weekend or public holiday. I guess I really don't have the chance of fate to celebrate with you bahr?

I wonder if I've any chance to choose anot. If I've I'll choose to be by your side taking care of you. Even if I've to keep quiet, and leave after taking care of you, as long as I can take care of you, it's already enough for me. But will I be given this chance to make this choice? Even if I've the chance, when will it be? Don't blame yourself for not meeting or what, it's not your fault. I know i always grumble, or keep asking when can we meet, can we meet on weekends/holidays. But I never once blame you. I know you don't want anything to happen, although they allowed us to be together, but I know you don't want to risk. So it's okay not meeting me, I'll be fine.

It's already 1 year 6 months, since we're together. and all along, I know in your heart, I don't occupy fully, maybe it's half or maybe it's less than half. Hais. Or maybe more than half? Cause I really don't know who's took more space in your heart. And I tried to find out from you, but there's no answer to it. Thus I never ask anymore. I know all I need to do is just to love you, concern you, take care of you and dote you. That's my responsibility.

Silly girl, you always make me so worry, and how many knocks have you owe me? One day I must really KNOCK till you not so silly anymore. Hehes. >< Bleahs! I go rest le, muacks. Sayang sayang.

Signing off
N.Boy (:
01.14am
25.05.09